Pregnancy: An Update

Little Bebe at 12.6 weeks

I kind of think he/she has the same under-bite that Carter had when  he was born. Not a desired trait by the mass population but one I find entirely endearing. I can't wait to see who this little person is!

I have reached 16 weeks! (illustrated in the above picture...which will also help you locate the various parts of your anatomy if you are confused) Phew...it felt touch and go for a while. So much so that it took me some time to actually be committed to being pregnant. I was worried at any minute that I wouldn't be anymore and I could not allow myself to be attached. Josh is still struggling allowing himself to be attached. I guess we have both been afraid of being disappointed. But after seeing that sweet little profile how can I not be attached? I love that little face. 

So my baby is an avocado right now and my womb the size of a small melon. Though I can definitely tell it is poking my tummy out...mostly to other people I am just extra fat. :( hmph.  I will go from fat to painfully humongous in a matter of weeks here. Soooo looking forward to that.  

This pregnancy has been completely different than my pregnancy 6.5 years ago with Carter. I am old. With Carter I pretty much felt amazing and wonderful up until the last 4 weeks...at which point he was just big and my stomach so huge that life was becoming impossible. But other than that...nothing went wrong, no sickness, no complications...perfect .

Take 2:. It seems so many things are going wrong. And I actually hate saying this because I know it could be much, much worse...so I am being ungrateful. But the sub-dermal hematoma and the separation of the sac from the wall, the bedrest, then finding out I have group B strep and having to take antibiotics to get rid of that and now my blood sugar is too high and I have to prick my delicate little finger tips 4 times a day, not to mention having to pee every 5 minutes, battling heartburn, nausea, pregnancy headaches, and tripping over everything (I seriously am textbook pregnancy woes). And to top it all off...we do not have insurance nor do we qualify for any type of aid...so this baby is costing us a pretty penny and every week costs us a little bit more as something else come up that needs another test or another ultrasound. Just so you know, an ultrasound costs around 250.00 every time you have one. So far I have had 5. It is just feeling ironic to me that when I had coverage for Carter I could not have begged someone into giving me an ultrasound...now I can't beg them to not give me one. haha...but really it all good. I am complain-y but in reality don't mind paying for this babe. It is my fault that I was not prepared. I had come to terms with the fact that Carter was our only child and was in no way expecting to become pregnant. I could have been more prepared physically (though the insurance thing could not be helped , I called numerous companies and found out pregnancy insurance is not available to just buy in Mississippi because the hospitals will negotiate and work out a payment plan that is actually cheaper than the cost of the insurance and what they would pay out. So people stopped buying the insurance...so it is just not available anymore. )

Gosh am I pregnant or what?

(and just so you know...if my years of infertility and times of trying with no success I never once got upset with pregnant ladies who complained and I never once said, "gosh just be grateful you are pregnant" so I feel fine complaining. And while I am very grateful that I am pregnant, that does not mean I have to love all the horrible side effects.)

My next appointment is on February 13th with another ultrasound:) This one is much wanted though because I will get to find out if I am growing a HE or a SHE!! So, so, excited to find out. I have a huge desire to decorate the nursery and start buying clothes and picking the right colors and naming this baby. This is the part of pregnancy that is all very thrilling and exciting. Josh has been certain from the beginning that we are having a girl. He is positive. I on the other hand have had no feelings about it at all up until the last couple of days which I have felt it is a boy. But that could be because that is all I know...I kind of imagine Carter in there all over again. Either would be wonderful to me. Little boys are pure joy to me. ...and I am sure a little girl would be too. And much more fun to dress...not to mention all the girl toys I eye often and think how fun they would be to play with. So either way...YAY!! I just want to know already!

Before this turned into a whine fest...I came to say that everything looks good as far as the baby is concerned. The baby is growing right on track and just looks great. The hematoma was almost completely healed up at my last ultrasound...so at my next ultrasound it is expected that is will no longer be there at all. What a blessing! I think this is one of the first times in my life where I can sincerely say that the prayers of others have truly been felt...like almost tangible. It has been an amazing thing to witness. My grandma told me that she had been praying so hard for my sister and I to both conceive and had been putting our names in the temple regularly. Wouldn't you know that we are both pregnant and just a few weeks apart.! Prayers work...even when they are not your own! 

And to top it off I can feel the baby lightly fluttering around in my tummy. Love.