So Josh and I have to speak in Sacrament Meeting on July 24th...if you are Mormon then you know what date that is...if you do not know what date this is...you are not Mormon...nope...you're not. Try the Baptists down the road.
When Josh and I get assignments like this, we like to imagine what we could do to be as disruptive as we can and create some shock and awe throughout the congregation. Yeah, we are awesome.
First, I decided I was going to dress up as a pioneer. High collar, bonnet and all. That would be distracting...there would be some giggling and some disdain. But not enough. So then I added getting up to the pulpit and start by singing "Pioneer children sang as they walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked......" and see how long the children walked before the Bishop stopped me. That would be good...no doubt some people would find this hilarious (most likely the deacons) and others would be downright horrified. But the best part is what happens before I make it to the stand. Everyone will turn their heads as they watch me start at the back of the gym...pulling a handcart. A heavy one. It will take me a good 20 minutes to make it to the pews after which I will call out "A little help here!" as I try and pull the handcart through the aisle...and we know it won't fit...so there will be lots of grumbling and crashing about on my part. Then I will start into a monologue about the life of a women pioneer and hard it is and show everyone the meager supplies I have. A bag of flour...meager...but enough to throw out into the congregation and dust everyone with a nice coating of white powder. I think that will do the trick.
Does anyone want to come hear us speak next Sunday?