Raining Petals

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Socially Challenged

As in, I am.

I often go home and kick myself a few times for being so awkward. How did this happen and why can't I fix it? You would think I would know how to carry on a normal conversation but I am finding out more and more that I really don't know how. I often pause in silence because I don't know how respond to something someone says, I often pause in silence because I cannot find the word I am trying to say in my jumbled mess of a brain, and I often pause in silence because people are talking about something I have no clue about and have nothing to insert into the conversation. Or, I smile and laugh and keep walking because I have no clue what was just said to me. When I am trying to find the word I am looking for, my mind grows increasingly jumbled and my tongue flops out of my mouth like a fish out of water and my eyes roll to the back of my head while I am frantically gesturing with  my hands, as if flailing them about will pull the word out of think air. Now you can see why I might hide from people rather than run up and say "...........!" Now, what was the word I was looking for?

I have a few culprits.

The one I want to focus on today is: Technology. Computers are getting smarter and people are getting dumber, myself included. Anymore these days the majority of my communications with others takes place in one of 3 ways: 1. Text 2. Chats via Gmail or Facebook and 3.Comments via Facebook or Blogger. E-mails are even few and far between these days. I haven't received a written letter since my birthday in January nor have I sent one. I do talk to my sister almost daily on the phone and once in a while my parents and in an even greater while maybe Julie or Katie.

 Back in the day when calling a friend was the only way to get a hold of them, I tied up the telephone line whenever possible. Now I am scared to call anyone. Talking on the phone is awkward and makes me panic a little. I would much rather text. It gives me more time to think through what I am typing out and make sure it comes out how I want instead of blurting something out and wishing I didn't or pausing for too long wishing I did. It also allows me to end the conversation when I want to instead of having someone prattle on for far too long or me being the one who doesn't know when to hang up.

So, technology is to blame for my ineptness. If I was forced into conversations more often then I would not be in this little predicament and not have to ask the ladies at church to please step in the other room and text me rather than come up and vocalize to my face.

Far too often I hear someone say something along the lines of, "oh yeah I would love to hear about that, Facebook me when you get the chance and fill me in." Um, or you could just tell them right now and have a little bit of face time rather than Facebook. I also see friends sitting right next to each other texting rather than speaking. (do you realize "texting" isn't even a real word yet but we all do it?)

And I can't even talk about how much my grammar has gone down the tubes...and totally cringe when I see how my decade younger cousins spell things on Facebook and can't put together coherent sentences. eeek!

So, I have started slowly. I am deleting my Facebook. I will lose communications with 200+ people and I am guessing I will survive. I figure if the only way certain people will keep up with me is if I have a Facebook and no other way...well then, I am not that important on keeping up on. Even though it might be fun and interesting it is also a time sucker. And I realized that really the only people who comment often and communicate with me on Facebook are those who will still do so after I am erased from the face of the book and already communicated with me before Facebook existed. So basically I am removing myself from being silently stalked or identity theft-ed and not exposing myself daily to the negative, offensive, and horrible murdering of the English language.  Though I will miss many and wish I was desirable enough for some of them to follow me wherever I go, I am coming to grips with the fact that some people like me and some people are just more, "meh" about me. And that is okay :)

So if you see me in the store and notice that I dive into the nearest clothing rack or hold my purse over my face as I walk right past you... please realize, it's not you, it's me.


Liz said...

I've noticed I'm sometimes a social dolt, too. I'm hoping it's a normal part of losing your brain when you become a mother. ;-)
I DO hope you keep blogging, though, because I love keeping up with you!

Laura said...

I've noticed it happening to me, too. I am friends with people on Facebook yet I'd rather avoid them when I see them in the store. Why am I friends with them on Facebook then?

I agree with Liz - keep on blogging because it is good to see what you are up to. I promise to keep commenting every now and then so as not to be a silent stalker. LOL

Way to go for your bravery in deleting your Facebook. I'm not that brave...yet. :)

Jennifer said...

Wow, I feel an awfully lot like you do. I've never been very good at in-person communication, and have always wished I could just write everything down--but sometimes, when someone asks me how I'm doing, I'm half tempted to say, "just go read my blog!" At least I try to be somewhat coherent on my blog, whereas I've learned that the less I say on facebook, the better.

Anonymous said...

Oh Laura I will miss your witty replies. I would rather facebook than talk on the phone. I hate the phone. I don't know how to text so that's not a problem. I do like to check my facebook but hope I am not obsessed with it. Sometimes that is the only way I can keep up with close friends and family. I will look forward to reading your blog instead. And you are amazing and funny so don't sell yourself short.

Love, Grammy Kathy W

Emily said...

Laura, Laura, Laura. I am socially awkward too but I don't have technology as an excuse. I don't text. I don't Facebook. I guess I do e-mail and blog...I blame my social awkwardness on having no one to talk to all day long except my boys. And I have lost a few brains cells due to lack of sleep, having to watch PBS kids shows, and pulling my hair out!

Shawn and Megan Atwood said...

I have the same diagnosis. I believe the clinical term for it is diarrhea mouth. when people try and talk to me and all that comes out is diarrhea mouth:) But I can't blame it on anything, I have been like that my entire life, a little shy and a lot goofy. it just gets worse with age for me.

Dixie said...

I often feel like an idiot when speaking to other humans. I blame technology, motherhood and England. (sometimes I don't know what the hell these people are saying!)
Anyhow, I once deleted my facebook account and came crawling back a few months later. Still tempted to do it again.....
There is one piece of technology that is helping me get better and that is SKYPE. It provides face to face conversations with my family and friends. I'm on the slow road to recovery! Heaven help us.....especially the youngin's!

Us Bailey's said...

Funny how society changes with certain inventions -- and not always for the better ;)! I really hope you keep blogging because I love seeing what fun things your family is up to! Good luck!

julie said...

So it appears from all the comments, everyone is socially challenged. That should help us. We can think, "it doesn't matter what I say, they are worried about how lame they sound. Wonderful!" We can all be confident in our lameness together! And for the same reason, I never ever want text..I have enough issues. But this you knew.

Lisa said...

I blame a lot of my social awkwardness on motherhood. My brain is fried. In recent years I can't remember a person's name - WHEN I'M TALKING TO THEM. And these are people I see regularly in my neighborhood or ward or other mothers at school. I think, "I know who you are, but I can't remember what to call you!" So it leads to a lot of avoiding . . .

Cheri said...

Live without texting? No way! I have never been a phone talker, though I do love to talk to people in person. I would say my worst habit when talking to people is that I can be a selfish listener, meaning I sometimes am focused so much on what I need to say next that I'm not completely listening to what they are saying, lol, am I really admitting this? Don't hate me.

Anyway, glad to see you are posting on your blog again. I love blogs and need entertainment.

Cassie said...

I agree, the internet as a whole takes up a lot of my day. So how long did it take you to type this post and how many times did you re-read it? hahaha.... That's suppose to be funny. I hope your laughing. Just the other day I told Rhett that if not already there's going to be a class offered on how to use your iphones. Crazy how things are changing.

*LaUrA* said...

haha Cassie...actually...I blog really quickly and rarely edit...thus all my spelling and grammar errors. It usually takes me no longer than 10 minutes to write up a post;) I don't take myself serious enough to thorough;)

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