I have insomnia tonight. I just could not sleep and now I am kicking myself at 2:30 in the morning for still being awake. At the same time I am thanking my Father in Heaven for every good thing he has given me and sending out silent prayers and shedding heart felt tears. I think the blogging world is tremendous and can do and be a source for amazing things. For me, blogging, at times, helps me put things in perspective. After blog hopping some of my blog roll I was led to this blog...
I have sat for a few hours now reading the story of this tremendous woman. A woman I admire for her strength, her convictions, her faith, and endurance and in other ways pray I will not have to have the experiences she has had. And I know she would share my feelings on that. I am thankful for her tonight though for helping me realize a lot of things about my life...do I have anything to complain about?...not one thing.
I am thankful for my renewed desire to hold Carter a little closer, play a little longer, and cherish his every moment. I pray to see Carter the way my Heavenly Father sees him because in His eyes Carter is glorious beyond description...and yes right now I feel it. But how many times do I get frustrated to the point of blindness! How many times do I wallow in self-pity! How many times do I lash out in lack of self-control and patience! Too much. Too often. Not worth it. A waste of precious moments. And yet...I must come back often, unfortunately I am all too human and too easily revert back to less desirable ways. I know I am not perfect...I am in my refining process. This is all about learning to become who I need to be.
Thank you to those of you who blog with inspiration. Who reach out in your sorrow to lift others to their joy. My prayers are with you and yours.
And with this thought I have been thinking the past few days why we all too often wait to share our feelings and our love and our compliments and our appreciations after it is too late, after that person we love it gone? Why do we have to take things for granted so much? Why do we skip over people in a rush to complete our day? It happens way too much that we all must be stopped in our tracks for us to take a moment to realize what is important and grieve for our lost moments. If only we lived them today, cherished our family, treasured our friends, blessed our acquaintances, gave of our substance...it doesn't have to be too late if we do it today.
Thus, I love you all. I really do. If you are wondering about my mushiness, my sentimentality...go read the above blog around 3:00 in the morning and then tell me if you feel any different. ;)