Raining Petals

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Carter’s First Day of Kindergarten

Carter was very excited and a little bit nervous about his very first day of school today. Leading up to it he would be talking excitedly and then bury his head in me and squeal “oooh I am scared!”. This morning Josh gave Carter a very sweet blessing. When it was over Carter got a big grin on his face and said. “I feel so much better!”.
He picked out his Phineas and Ferb shirt to wear the first day. And I decided on easy on, easy off shorts.
Carter's first day of school August 2011 002
Josh and I both took him to his classroom. His class is full of little boys and and just a handful of girls. I hope Carter makes them all his friends. His classroom was also the only one where no kids were crying. As we walked by the other room at least one kid was having a really hard time. Carter was very brave and stood by us for just a minute and then went and sat on the rug and started playing with blocks.
I wanted to stay. I want to be there the whole day watching him and making sure he is okay. I blew him one last kiss from the door and made my way to the car. I kept it together until the doors were closed. Then Josh asked me if I was okay and I lost it. It was really hard to leave him there in the hands of someone else. I know he is in good hands and I know he will really blossom with his new experiences…but I just wasn’t quite ready to give him up.
The house is too quiet. I miss my snuggle buddy. I am so used to just doing what he wants to most of the day. So this will be a new experience for me too…figuring out what I want to do with my days while he is at school. I should have a plan but I don’t. So it has been a hard morning for me. I have puffy eyes and I am already exhausted. I can’t wait to go get him at 2:00.
I know I may sound silly to some of you. But this is my only little man. I do not have other kids to fill the space at home and keep me busy. And that makes my heart ache today. Yesterday I was strong. Tomorrow I will be strong. But today I'm not.

8 comments:

**nicke... said...

i am giving you the biggest virtual hug there ever was! so sorry. you are not silly in the least. i will be just the same. i got a part time job a few months ago and i still have a hard time dropping them off at daycare. i will be thinking of you all day today!

Cheri said...

Oh Laura! You make me feel so bad! I'm always over the moon when my kids go to school, but it's probably like you said, I've got two little monsters to keep me plenty busy at home and I can totally see how being alone would be hard. I hope you start to feel better! I love you!

PS This is actually a lot of the reason why I'm going back to school right now. By the time I have to go drop Tyler off to his first day of kindergarten, I want to have a job I can go to that I love. Or at least be close to that goal. I guess what I'm saying is it's never too late to go back to school! Seriously, you would be paid to go back to school if you do FAFSA. Just a friendly suggestion!

julie said...

No, not silly, just makes me feel silly for not being sad. Although, I have yet to drop mine off. Funny how you dropped off Carter before I did Ethan. What? Haha, and looking at the pictures did give me a little pang, so maybe I will be a little sad. Ethan is after all, my favorite child, by far. :)

Emily said...

Not silly!! I don't know if I can ever do it. I'm glad I get almost an extra year with Charlie because of his November birthday. I wish I could just keep him with me always and forever.

Let us know how it goes! I'm sure he's making lots of friends and having a great day.

Us Bailey's said...

I hope it all went okay. I can't believe Carter is big enough to go to school already! Good luck and I hope you figure out something to do that you will love.

Jenete said...

What a sweet mom you are! I am sure you will find things to fill your days soon enough but I think it is so sweet when that moms get emotional over their childrens' firsts. I think I will probably be the same.It is good that our kids grow up and learn things but sometimes that change is hard. Watching K find his independence is exciting but sometimes bittersweet since as a mom my roll changes. I am not sure how I will deal with kindergarten yet. It's crazy to think carter is old enough for kindergarten, how time flies!

DD said...

you are the sweetest.. brings back all those heart hearts mommas have I love you both. DD

Ashley said...

I can't believe it is that time already! School starting already! I am dreading Katy's first day of school...Im sure it will be much the same. I will miss her :( What a good mommy you are. Hope you find lots of things to do while he is away. Take care.