Raining Petals

Friday, April 18, 2008

Clarification and Martha 101

First, Congratulations to me on making my 50th post!! Woohooo!!

A moment ago Julie informed me, via MSN Messenger,that my last post could have been offensive to the "Marthas" out there. Well good. Haha...no my intent was not to offend. Julie thought she fell under the category of "Martha" and thought I was secretly talking about her. Oh Julie! Now when I say "Martha" here is what I mean:

MARTHA 101

*A woman, particularly a fellow mother, who looks as if she has it together 100% of the time, but secretly is stealing lots of money or lacing her cupcakes with trans fatty acids. Basically, a person who will always paint a pretty picture, when in fact she could use a good friend talk to.

*A "Martha" is a person who deems themselves the almighty expert at such thing as parenting and marriage. Then proceeds to give out her wisdom anywhere and everywhere as she sees fit. She will not hesitate to make snide remarks about the job you are doing as a parent or wife. Most of the time the comments will not be outright and frank(though at times they will)...but she will more casually throw them out there so it is not until usually later when you realized you have been attacked.

*She seems to think her remarks will "inspire" the receiver to shape up and do things right, therefore ridding the world of the "undesirables". She becomes extremely dismayed when she finds out her children display much of the undesirable behavior she so earnestly seeks out to destroy in others, but tries with all her might to hide it rather than seeking advice or resources. (Because in the end we are all much more alike than different...gasp!)

Okay...anyways I could go on...but my point was not that I let my child eat candy and watch TV all day and that people should just leave me alone about it. Because the fact is I do not like Carter to eat candy, I would much rather he have nutritious foods and I do not let him just watch anything...but I really don't mind when he wants to watch a kids show. My point was is that everyone should LIVE AND LET LIVE...my point was to the "radicals" who have all these rules (which I am not against the rules...rules are good!)... BUT they try to make you feel bad, inferior, and inadequate if you do not follow their same regiment! All the things I listed, breastfeeding, cloth diapers, organic foods...and so on are very good things...that is not what I am against...I am just turned off by "Moms Against Moms" and believe mothers should ban together to offer friendship, "helpful" advice, and resources to each other rather than negative criticisms and snootiness. Rather than judge a mom for giving her child say "cotton candy" for a snack;)...tell her how your child got a kick out of making these cute little "apple critters" for a fun snack and ask her if she wants to come over and make them with you! See how easy that is!! Most of the time there is a lack of education and resources that cause parents to do less than desirable things...and if we all just had friendly, helpful suggestions, and presented them in a tactful, creative manner we would all be much better off. It is not about conforming people to your routine...but bettering yourself and your family by learning from others. It is a give and take. Take from other mothers the ideas you like and use them for yourself and give of yourself and your time and talents so that others can benefit from you. That was my point. I was not trying to offend anybody or put anybody down...I was just saying!!

Amen.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Laura: So I think of Martha as Marth Stewart. I'm not her either. And it's your blog. Blog whatever you want.
Just a word of advice from someone who will never be Martha Stewart...
Love your blog.
Grandma Kathy W.

Matt and Brandi said...

Oh Laura, I just love you, and your blogs! I enabled comments.

Emily said...

I getcha. And I agree! Oh, and feel free to post your own goals...I don't care if anyone copies anything I do on my blog--of course as long as its not word for word!

Shane and Amy Jo said...

You are so funny...you always make me laugh. I love that you just are who you are...never apologize for that! I enjoy you long posts...keep 'em commin'!

The Van Noys said...

AMY!! You commented!! This is a momentous occasion!! You made my day!!!:)

Cheri said...

Okay, thanks for the definition. I can officially say I'm not a Martha. I do have to say I agree. Being a super all natural freak like I am, I get a lot of crap from both sides. I hang out with women who are the extream, who criticise absolutely everything. Then I get torn down by women who think I'm nuts for being the way I am. You have no idea the amount of negative attention I got when I first started into the whole natural chibirth thing. Pretty much every woman I told said I was dumb and I would be screaming for drugs, that I was being unrealistic. No one had a single word of advice but my Bradley teacher and Roxanne.
As always, a fun and entertaining blog.

Casey Marie said...

I understood what you were saying in your last blog but the definition is quite good. It's funny that some people think there is only one way to be a parent and if you stray from that then your child is doomed. I think you are an excellent mom and Josh is an excellent dad. And I love the look on Carter's face when he asks for "dandy". Even if I trick him and give him nasty prunes :) But he's so cute he deserves a piece of candy every so often.

Also, I agree with my Mom Wootton, don't apologize for your blog. This is your journal. If it offends someone its because they are letting themselves get offended.

Shelby said...

Hey Laura, I love your blog too! I also really like your new template--so cute!

Jennifer Dunn said...

I think I fit some definitions of a "Martha." The one where you try to make everything look perfect, and are really embarrassed when your kids give you away with their behavior...not that I am judgmental, I try not to be...but I'm judgmental of myself, and I worry about what people think of me. I'm always afraid other moms wouldn't let their kids play with my kids if they knew how bad I really was!!! :)

Mann Land said...

I hear ya sista, Amen! You would get a kick out of some of the mothers in my Aussie ward! There are ZERO Martha's! The kids run around bare foot most of the time, there is minimal supervision and the kids are so well behaved! The expecting moms come to church on their due dates and PAST their due dates because they know there are women in the ward that know what to do if they go into labor at church! No worries mate! It's nuts!

Bradbury Trio said...

You are HILARIOUS! Where do you come up with this stuff!? Keep it up--you make my day with these posts!!

Paula Bennett said...

Hi Josh and Laura! It's Paula Kim. Well, Bennett now. Okay, I was just introduced to this whole blogging thing and came across you guys. Just wanted to say hi and what a beautiful family! Maybe I'll set up a blog soon. Catch you all later!!