Raining Petals

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Things I am Not

So in trying to identify things I am...much has become clear about things I am not. To me it seems much easier to realize things you aren't than things you actually are. Make sense?

I am not.....

A Fashion Diva. Despite what old photographs may suggest about my style (I was sure hip...see previous post of "little Laura") I am in no way a fashion connoisseur, nor do I aspire to be. My main objective when dressing for the day is comfortability(not a word but I am making it one). Next, blending. I want to blend with everyone else as much as possible and go unnoticed. I take this approach when dressing for school. Now, I may sound like a real lump but when going to school I want only to sit in the back of the classroom, closest to the exit, talk to no one, and then make a speedy escape when appropriate. I am just not in a social mood at this time(as far as school goes) I make my friends elsewhere;) I am not against fashion, but I don't give fashion magazines a second glance nor do I judge a person on what they are wearing....okay that is not totally honest. When I see a girl (and this is why I don't try to make friends at college) walk into class with thong hanging out, mid-riff showing, boobs overflowing, hair puffed to the ceiling, make-up slathered all over the place...I do tend to wonder what her intentions are. As wrong as it may be I can't help but make assumptions. Same with a guy in a baseball cap turned backwards, baggy jeans, whatever shirt, chewing gum, and slouched all the way down in his seat...I wonder if he thinks he is "too cool" or maybe he is uncomfortable....or maybe he is just comfortable...like me and I should leave him alone. I wonder what people are thinking about me? "oh look...creepy girl sitting in back really needs some make-up and why does she ALWAYS wear her hair pulled back??....most of the time though I really do try to just leave people alone and if I have a judgmental thought I really do try and push it out. So my point was...I am not a trend setter....I buy cheap clothes at Wal-Mart...won't even consider spending more than 30.00 on any single pair of clothing(though Maurices has gotten me once or twice on accidental oversight and I almost wanted to fall over) and I do not think clothing makes a person....I could care less your pants cost 100.00 and you are carrying a purse that's price is enough to feed a small country...I just think my money is better spent elsewhere is all....but it is okay for you (if "you" are one of the people I have discovered I am not...it is all good;)...oh wait wait...a few notable exceptions would be my time in high school when my socks never matched!...and the time in junior high when I decided it was cool to wear key chains hanging from my belt loops(I can't say I was the only weird one...I had friends borrow my enormous penny key chain and hang it from their trousers as well...maybe I shouldn't give up just yet;)

Hand in hand with this...I am not a Make-up Artist. Other than a short stint with Mary Kay Cosmetics (I finally gave into a persistent and determined dear friend to sell underneath her....the difference between me and her is that she won the car and I gave all of my products away at cost) I have no useful knowledge in the make-up department. I wear the same exact eyeshadow and mascara everyday...and if I remember the same lip color and gloss (which wear off by the time I get anywhere so I don't know the point) That is the extent of it. There have been a few times I have gotten ambitious and covered my face with foundation and powder and blush and eyeliner and lip liner and lipstick and concealer and brow pencil and eyelash curlers...and so and so forth....but only to end up feeling like an impostor...out of place and very noticeable. I guess it just isn't "me" Don't get me wrong...I love feeling pretty and primped up...especially during high school dances...but I guess there is nowhere that I go during the day that requires that sort of transformation. I am okay with that. Lucky for me...my husband it not a make-up fan. He says "What is the point when you can look at someone and know it is all fake?"....most women can argue that point very well...I however, cannot.

I am not a scientist. I hate biology lab, I dislike doing experiments, I don't care about mitosis, I don't give a second thought to where that rock on the side of the road came from. My biology teacher claims we are all scientist, doing science everyday. Okay so maybe she is right. Just don't tell me I am doing it and things will be okay. Science is just not me...with the exception of genetics. Genetics blow my mind!! ( I do however very much appreciate scientists and all the discoveries they have made...and very much support medical research...I just don't want to be the one doing it)

I am not tolerant of stupid people and I am not shy about telling you that you are being really stupid...if I feel so inclined. This comes into play a lot as a property manager. There are just so many people I come in contact with who are so ignorant, disrespectful, immature, irresponsible...enough to just make me want to jab a fork in my eye. For instance, people sign a contract, move into an apartment, and then are baffled when you expect them to pay rent. Stupid! OR...the person gets a dog and when entering the unit I see piles of dog poop all over the place...STUPID!!! or...a person gets a paycheck and buys beer, cigarettes, and I see UPS deliver them a brand new computer, then they call me and say they will be late on rent...STUPID!(to which my response is...return your computer and get me rent by 5:00 tonight or your stupid bum will be on the street)...(okay so I am not totally honest again...I don't say it quite like that. I still remain professional while Stupid McStupid still gets to remain stupid.)...but I absolutely do not tolerate it and will not show patience to people if they are down right ignorant...especially if you try and lie to me!!!(nothing will get you a fine slapped on your door and eviction notice faster than LYING to me...don't do it!!! aaaarrrrrggggghhhh. And it is sad to say...Probably like 70% of the people I come in contact with are like this. Poor 30% majority that has to write blogs like this one. (And if I am continuing to be totally honest...I am stupid a lot as well)

That is all for now. There are a lot more things I am NOT...such a demure, dainty, organized, cool, etc...those are for another time. Thanks for reading!

11 comments:

Us Bailey's said...

I like it. You wouldn't happen to spend any time in the College of Ed by chance do you;)! I will have to agree, but one thing I will say you are is a great friend and a great roommate!

Bradbury Trio said...

Ummm Laura...Thank you for making me laugh today! :) You write the best posts and this one is REALLY funny! I'm with you on the clothes part--by the time I do finally have enough money to buy something "in" then it's "out" a week later! Kind of like cell phones. You could probably say a name of one to me and I wouldn't have a clue. I have a cell phone, it works. I talk to Nick on and and that' it! Why do I need a phone that does all that fancy picture, calendar, music stuff?!

Also about the makeup...YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! You are soooooo pretty without makeup and I'm jealous of that! You would wake up and look so good when we were roommate--it's not fair! You really do have beautiful skin, and I swear you're going to look 10years younger when you're 40!

As for stupid people! I'll let you in on a pet peeve of mine...sorry about the long comment first....but today I was at the grocery store and this lady would park her cart in the MIDDLE of the isle while she walked 10 feet to get her item. So I would move her cart for her (letting her see me do it) and then she did it again when we met in the next isle over! HELLO!! I decided to skip a few isles so I wouldn't be on the same one as her, but then we somehow met up again at the cash registers!! Anyway...maybe she'll read your blog and get a clue...

I LOVE YA TO DEATH BY THE WAY!!! :)

millerandbrandi said...

Your posts crack me up...except for the one about the little girl and her crappy mom...that one ticked me off! HELLO...Where's her sign???...stupid, stupid. Sorry, had to release some steam :) Anyways, Kaiden (pronounced kay-den) has me all tapped out on the chores...taking all my money :) sorry!

Kristin, Jeff, and Michael said...

I love it! You are so funny! You make me laugh! And I love the picture of the clouds. Did you take it from an airplane? It is really cool!

Ashley said...

So, lip gloss comes off my lips really fast too. I wonder if it is my small lips or if it because I talk to bloody much..either way, I love them to have a glossy shine but at the same time feel it a small bit pointless as well.

Cheri said...

I have to diagree on the science lab thing, I think it's fun.
Make-up, I'm with you 100%, as you know from our conversation the ther day. I wore the same amount of make-up the day I got married as I did the other night when I went to the pool. Like hardly any at all. A little mascara, a tough of eye shadow, maybe a bit of cover up and that 's just when I go out. Don't like the stuff.
Stupid people are on my bad list as well. They drive me nuts!!! I've found an over abundance of them here in the valley of the trees.

Casey Marie said...

Hmm, we must be sisters. The first three things on your list I am interested in, but not in the ways most people are. I like finding cheap deals and finding things that fit my style (which is "awesome"). I am also a scientist (you remember my labs I made in our room right, and you had to wear a grocery bag as a lab coat so as not to contaminate the homeostasis of the delicate things I was studying). But I DO abhorr stupid people. I want to smack them on the forehead and see the lights come on. As for make up, I think its fun to get all fancy. I am still trying to impress Cody, though, does that ever go away? When I was in my dress at the temple, I was in such a rush that morning with my hair that I didnt have any makeup on until after the sealing. There was another bride that was soo beautiful all done up and lovely, except for the scowl on her face and her angry mom...I really don't know why they were so mad. I was plain but radiantly happy. Some things makeup can't hide. I am now done blogging on your comment page. :) Where's Carter?

julie said...

That's funny that you say you're not a fashion diva..just the other day I was thinking, "Laura always has the cutest clothes and always looks so good." You don't ever wear a 10 year old JuMP co shirt for example! But I do know what you mean. And um, I wish I could not wear lots of makeup. But that's the difference between you and me, you look good without it. I look like a man...I look like Ben Call..scary!

Lara said...

I LOOOOOOVE the stupid people paragraph, and I LOOOOOOVE that you say the word stupid 10 times in it. Made me laugh. Now don't call me stupid if I counted those wrong...
And I look like a man without mascara. That will always be on my face, like it or not. All else... meh. Maybe when I'm invited to be in the circus.

Alli said...

Loved it so funny... You have some of the best posts...

Right there with you on the make up thing. Although sometimes I could use it... It takes a lot of effort and for what..
Jackson loved getting mail. We got it Friday.. The whole weekend he carrried that package around saying pretty... If he lost it the world stopped until he found his pretty once again.. Thank you soo much...

Spicer said...

You are so funny. I wish I could dress myself and put makeup on so that I looked put together.I have to totally agree with the stupid people thing, whats the deal? Why can't people just not be stupid? Anyways we should be friends because that would be fun. Cater and Kallon should play!